Oh baby

Working with girls in Mozambique can be challenging. For one thing, they're so busy. Between school, household chores, babysitting younger relatives, and church, it can be difficult to fit in time to descansar (rest), much less to attend a REDES group meeting. I'll work closely with a promising secondary school girl, only to have her disappear suddenly after several weeks. I find out...her mother is making her run the family vegetable stand at the market. Or she has to stay at home to cook and take care of her siblings. Or she's on the verge of failing a class, and has to spend more time at school studying. Or one of her relatives is very sick and she has to travel to visit them.
Or... she got pregnant. Teen pregnancy is not a novel concept, but here in Africa it is unbelievably common. In my experience, I'd say that the average age that a Mozambican woman has her first child is... between 18 and 20.
One of the most common questions I get asked is, "Do you have children?" (Almost inevitably after "Are you married?") And then comes, "No? Why not?" It seems weird to them that a person could be married but not have kids. It's as if having children validates marriage. My host brother got his girlfriend pregnant about a year ago . After hushed negotiations with the girl's family, she and the baby now live with my host family. They're essentially married. They refer to each other as husband and wife, but I don't think they're actually legally bound.
So even if it's -oops! An accident, usually it turns out okay. Unplanned pregnancies aren't the huge burden they are in the States. There definitely isn't the same stigma and disapproval, or talk of "children having children." At 18, a Mozambican girl is of prime child-bearing age. I explain, "I don't want kids yet, I have plenty of time later." This is usually met with a strange look that says, "Whatever, you crazy white person. You're 24 and you're getting old so you better start popping out those children while you can." I wonder if it has to do with the lower life expectancy in Moz. People die younger, so people procreate younger.
Also, family is such a huge deal in African culture. Having children means more hands to help around the house. Having children means a woman's role of motherhood is fulfilled, and a man's role of proving his virility is accomplished.
Last week, I received a visit from a young girl who introduced herself as Stella's sister. (Stella is a secondary school student who used to be active in REDES and participated in my English Theatre group last year.) I asked how Stella was, mentioning that I hadn't seen her in a long time. "Oh, she's fine. Almost about to have her baby."
...WHAT???!!! If I had a metical for every time I've been surprised to discover that someone I know is pregnant, I'd probably be able to afford a chapa ride to Xai Xai (from Chicumbane to Xai Xai is 10 meticais). For some reason, I'm not very good at picking out pregnant women in Mozambique. One of my coworkers, whom I've known my entire time in Chicumbane, had already given birth by the time I discovered that she was even pregnant.
Maybe it's because a lot of Mozambican women are typically...um, big. Or maybe because no one makes a huge fuss about being pregnant, and it's such a natural thing In America, pregnant women throw elaborate baby showers, post up sonogram photos, complain about morning sickness and cravings and purportedly emit some sort of pregnancy glow. If you're a pregnant Mozambican woman, you don't even get the privilege of knowing if it's a boy or girl before it pops out.
But still. Throughout REDES meetings and events we try to drill in the importance of using protection, family planning, long term decisions, blah blah...It's hard to say how much of it goes in one ear and out the other. Girls see their friends having babies and want one too. They don't ponder the financial drain of having another mouth to feed, or the time commitment that comes with caring for a child, or the impact on their own education (because while they often argue that it is possible to raise a baby and continue going to school, most often they end up dropping out).
Next thing you know, they're knocked up and I'm hearing about it from somebody else. But probably not until 7 or 8 months down the line...