Justice

"I wandered through fiction to look for the truth, buried beneath all the lies
And I stood at a distance to feel who you are, hiding myself in your eyes"
Goo Goo Dolls, "Before It's Too Late"

I read once in a sociology book that different cultures are motivated by different things. For example, Asian cultures by honor. African cultures by power. And you know what Americans are motivated by? Justice.

In America, everything is black and white. Something's either right, or it's wrong.
Here in Mozambique, I'm learning that there is no such clarity. Just...gray.

Honesty isn't the extolled virtue it is in the States.

Students cheat blatantly on exams. Why? Because it's considered selfish to not share your knowledge with a friend. They legitimately do not understand what is wrong with peeking over at the test of a neighbor.

I wrote in my last blog post about my best friend/student/next door neighbor stealing food items from my house. My American indignation kicking in: Why didn't he just ASK??
After further reflection, I guess I can sort of see his point: I obviously have an excess of food lying around, why wouldn't I share it? How would I even notice it's gone?

Hoarding isn't a habit here. What you have, you give. You use it to help your friends and your family. Needless to say, savings accounts aren't all that common at the bank.

My friend Calvino had a cute gray puppy for a while Then one day, the dog disappeared. When I asked the younger sister, she informed me that it had been poisoned and had died (a common occurrence). I mentioned it later to Calvino, who told me that, "Nah, it'd just been given to a friend." So which is true? What's the lie for?- to protect the young sister or to protect me, the dog lover of Chicumbane?

After one of my students spent several hours spilling his guts to me about his girlfriend breaking up with him, I mentioned the incident to his best friend several days later, only to receive a blank look in response. "He hasn't told you anything about what happened with his...girlfriend?" "What, is she pregnant?" He asked. I shook my head and suggested he talk to his friend personally...
Later that evening, he came back and whispered, "He told me his girlfriend is pregnant. What did he tell you?"

So, apparently, it's not as important to tell the truth as it is to tell someone what they want to hear. (By the way, my student later recanted the pregnancy story.)

This week, my coworker told me that one of the wooden doors to the latrine we had built for my organization, had been stolen overnight Doors are expensive, but they're also heavy. So immediately I know that it would have taken more than one person to take it down and carry it or transport it somewhere. While I mull over this turn of events, I find myself at the front steps of my coworker's house later that same day to give him something when... through the open front door, I see something in the house. It's a random wooden door, leaning up against his living room wall.

This is the same coworker, who had earlier this week been planting new packets of seeds in his garden at his house. Coincidental, because at work we are currently doing a gardening project and the organization has just bought a bunch of gardening supplies, including seeds.

So here's what I think is going on. I suspect that materials at work are getting siphoned off the top, like skimming funds in an embezzlement scheme. There's always been a fine line between what belongs to the organization and what belongs to the activists. What if someone really needed a door? But didn't have money to buy one? Would it be wrong to "borrow" it for a time?

{Let me give you an example. If you've got a job that you need to fill, you give it to your good friend. You don't give it to the person who is most qualified. Why would you help that person? }

If I'm right, then I'm pretty sure I'm the only one not in the loop, the only one kept in the dark. I'm the only one who would call then out on this, but does that mean I'm not an ally?

The wrongness of the situation cuts me, and I don't know how I can fight this battle. How could I, alone, hold everyone accountable? How can I claim to be a part of their organization, their community, and their culture and not look out for their "best interests?" Why would I want to "deprive" my friends of something that's available, if it doesn't hurt anyone? It sounds kind of messed up, to straightforward American way of thought, but I don't know. I just don't have the energy to make it "right" because "right"... is relative here, isn't it?

The door was stolen by an unknown thief? Aren't they just telling me what I'd rather hear? Is there a reason that "Wa Hemba" (liar) is the most common phrase in Changana?

The more I immerse myself in my community, the more I realize that there's so much that I'm still learning, or just now learning. That's when I know I'm in way over my head.