Gaming

In the classic Nintendo game Mario Kart, the player speeds around in a little car, racing other players to the finish line while simultaneously trying to avoid obstacles such as bombs and banana peels on the road. To the Mario Kart makers, I say: That's silly. First of all, who slips on banana peels? Never in my life have I witnessed somebody actually slip and fall on a banana peel. Everyone knows that the real danger lies not in the overrated fruit called a banana but in the tropical, much more hazardous MANGO.
Duh.

Imagine, if you will, a video game set on the lovely continent of Africa. More specifically, in a little country called Mozambique. (The entire game is in Portuguese, of course, but you can put on English subtitles if you wish.) You're driving- no wait- you're walking down a sandy path dotted with mangoes. Here, there, everywhere a mango. There they are, standing in the road... Dee dee dee. Green ones, red ones, some as big as your head! (If you didn't catch that reference you could try watching the Lion King.)

You're trying to make it to the finish line, but you have to avoid the slimy mangoes on the ground. (That are, incidentally, also falling from the mango trees above you, ready to knock you out and delay your from reaching your destination. If you hear rustling right above your head, you can press Ctrl+D, which makes your character duck to avoid getting hit.) The rotting mangoes will make you slip and fall, ultimately deducting points from your final score.

Where are you going in this video game, you ask? Oh, I don't know... Maybe the market, where you'll have the added challenges of avoiding the creepy men and the little kids who ask you for money and the cars that come barreling down the road too fast... Maybe your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to rescue a poor dog who is getting pelted with rocks by children. Different destinations could come in the form of different levels, with specific obstacles for each. The possibilities are endless!

Along the way, you may be rewarded with extra points in the form of a refreshing can of soda, a cold bucket bath, or a free ride from a stranger. At some point, you must get on a chapa along with approximately a million other people. To do this, you must kick (CTRL+K), punch (CTRL+P), shove (CTRL+S), and otherwise fight your way on to a seat. If you are stuck standing hunched over on the chapa, you still get points, just not as many. Also, if you aren't careful, someone in the crowd may pickpocket your wallet out of your purse, in which case you lose A LOT of points, and a lot of money, something like 1000 mets ($30 USD) and your Peace Corps ID and your damn bank card for the 3rd time in three months. But this is all hypothetical, of course. Just a silly video game that's kind of like a cross between Mario Kart and Oregon Trail and a Boxing/ fighting game and... umm... my life.

The good part is I think I'm still winning.

Happy holidays!!!